


Nothing To Say

by TheSourceOfAll



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Sad Ending, bucky is not ok, giving HYDRA what they deserve
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-05
Updated: 2016-11-16
Packaged: 2018-08-19 19:16:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8221886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSourceOfAll/pseuds/TheSourceOfAll
Summary: What if the first time Steve faced the Winter Soldier had been enough to break his connection to HYDRA? What if the Soldier never reported back after his attempt to kill Steve, Natasha and Sam in the interstate and instead had run?





	1. All of us drifting on seas of blood

**Author's Note:**

> Writing this story made me sad so I just want to give you a heads up.  
> Also, I might add a second part to it, I'm not sure if it would improve the story or not. 
> 
> The title came from a song in case you are interested in hearing it.  
> Nothing to Say by Angra
> 
> Why do I keep writing things that make me sad??

Slowly the darkness began receding from the room, the Soldier had spent another night staring at the wall lost in a whirlwind of memories. He had given up on any form of painkillers since he had swallowed a bottle of them and felt nothing. But he had practice ignoring pain and other discomforts.

 

The Asset had spent the first year running from anyone and everyone that had an interest in him, gathering cash from enough HYDRA hideouts and a couple of SHIELD's as well before kick starting the most ridiculous game of tag in history. He stopped on every country at least twice, sometimes he would purposely plant false leads, other times just to have some rest. It wasn't unusual for him to double back and kill whoever had been on his tail. Not with the memories of what they had done to him fresh on his mind. Those had been the first memories to resurface, the pain, the helplessness as they had cut him open, as they watched him and took notes, the experiments both before and after receiving the metal arm.

 

_Sargent James Buchanan Barnes 32557038, Bucky._

He was no longer Bucky, hadn't been him for a long time. Bucky Barnes had died in agony after years of torture, long before the metal arm was installed. He wasn't the Asset either, not really. He was a defective merge of both, he was neither. Still, Asset seemed the closest moniker he could identify with. Others had called him the Winter Soldier, he hated it, winter had nothing to do with it when all he ever felt was burning pain coursing through his veins, decades worth of agony and a headache that never goes away.

 

_They should have let him die._

 

He though not for the first time. In the beginning a thought born of grief and pain, now, of righteous fury. He swore to return the favor and destroy everything they had, everything they were until there was nothing but ruins. It wouldn't be long now, between blowing up bases and putting a price on the head of the ones who were more difficult to find, he had managed to bring HYDRA to their knees. Three years, 105 bases of operations and 307 assassinations later the world was in chaos. It didn't surprise him that so many of them had been government officials. Not that he cared, he had served his country, and not only they had abandoned him, but they had funded and protected his torturers. 

 

He had hazed HYDRA to the ground, people no longer spoke of them, too afraid of attracting the Soldier’s wrath upon them. “HYDRA created this monster, I say we make them put a stop to it.” The news reporter had suggested on the evening news. Many Hydra members were surrendering to the police asking for protection then. The reporter had also suggested the government used the prisoners as bait. It was the first non-HYDRA kill he had committed since breaking his conditioning but it had been just as satisfying. The Asset didn’t waste much time after blowing his brains out at the footsteps of Fox News the following week.  

 

In the end, it was far too easy to wipe out the last of HYDRA. Law enforcement had transferred all HYDRA prisoners to a “secret” high security facility in order to better protect them. The Asset had knocked out the guards and moved them out of range before blowing it up. Most people didn’t feel sorry for the prisoners, not after so much of what HYDRA had done to him had hit the news. Doctor after Doctor had insisted that it was a miracle he was still alive in interviews, that the Asset needed psychological help. They wanted to know how he managed to survive, what made him tic. The asset had no intention of letting himself be experimented on, never again.

 

 It was almost over.

 

"Do you know who I am?" The catalyst of everything spoke tentatively, as if the Asset would suddenly become afraid. He snorted, the Asset had wiped out entire facilities, what could he possibly have to fear from him.  He didn’t approach, nor did the other soldier, instead he seemed ready to wait all day for a reply. He was in no hurry; patience had been drilled into his brain long before HYDRA. His Captain’s uniform had changed but not much else.  The Asset licked his dry lips, he hadn’t uttered a word in weeks, had no need for words when he was alone, hadn’t bothered to move since he had arrived in Brooklyn, the place where everything had started.

 

_I’m with you to the end of the line, pal._

 

The Asset remembered a lot more than that. He remembered the train, he remembered trusting him to have his back. "You let me fall"


	2. I'm not myself, I'm a replica of me...

**"You let me fall"**

 

He could tell that wasn’t what Steve Rogers was expecting. Good, he hadn’t expected seven decades’ worth of torture either. Steve Rogers was not worth all that pain. What did he expect, for him to magically forget the past seventy years go back to being friends as if nothing had changed? The Asset realized he was angry. He wanted Rogers to know what it felt like, waiting day after day, year after year for a rescue that never came. Not when it would have mattered, not when there was still something worth salvaging, while there still was a Bucky.

 

“Bucky, I-” He moved forward but was held down by the other man. He had been on the bridge. Should the Asset warn him what happens to all of Rogers’ friends? The Asset stood up from his perch by the window, no doubt the woman would be waiting in the building across from theirs, ready to eliminate the Asset.

 

“Bucky is dead. He died waiting for you to come back for him.” _He died in agony_. He wanted to add, he wished he could have showed the first six years when Bucky was still alive. He wished to make him feel what it had felt like being HYDRA’s experiment, what if felt to suddenly be overwhelmed with hundreds of days filled with nothing by agony like he had the past few years. He wished the Asset could show him his Bucky when he finally began to realize that no one was coming for him. Perhaps he should have let the Witch live. She would have been able, but it was too late now and eliminating every member of HYDRA was more important.

 

“Steve” The other man spoke, a warning. The Asset wasn’t sure what was his warning about. Did he think the Asset was going to kill them? Likely. The Former Fist of HYDRA tossed them one of his guns, landing at Steve’s feet before removing the one between his shoulder blades.

“Bucky, what are you doing?” The Asset narrowed his eyes, shooting him would defeat the purpose so he ignored the comment. Steve had never been good at listening.

“Pick up the gun. You’re going to finish the job.” He explained when Captain America didn’t move while keeping his gun down but ready to fire.

“What do you mean? What job?” Steve step over the weapon moving towards the Soldier only to stop as the Asset raised his own, aiming at the other soldier’s head.

“Pick up the gun” He hissed. “You’ve never been good at finishing the fights that you started. This time you’re going to have to” The Asset watched the still confused captain step back and pick up the gun. “Unless you’re going to let him finish it for you” He added watching the two.

Steve’s friend was the first to realize what was happening, his eyes widening as he moved to pull Steve back. The Asset adjusted his aim as the other man moved. “Steve, he wants you to kill him”

“Bucky, no!” Steve threw the gun away from him but his friend caught it before if fell to the ground. “We’re not going to kill you!” The Asset couldn’t care less about what Steve wanted. Instead he fired a warning shot mere centimeters from his friend’s head.

“Finish the job, finish HYDRA” He didn’t bother with verbal threats.  

Steve shouted “You’re not HYDRA!” at the same time his friend took aim. “You’re my friend.”

“I am the Fist of HYDRA, as long as I am alive, HYDRA is alive” The Asset reiterated. “Either you kill me or I kill him”

“We can help you, let us help”

“I rather die”

“Bucky”

“Bucky is dead” The Asset pulled the trigger and the soldier went down.

 

_Non-lethal. Mobility compromised. Death Rate: Low. Recovery Rate: High._

 

“Sam” Steve rushed to his friend at the same time the window next to the Asset exploded inwards. A warning shot. As if the Asset was afraid to die.

“Finish it” He wondered if Sam would have to die before Captain America killed him or if the Widow would do it for him. Knowing Steve was no sooner to comply, the Asset moved in front of the window, placing himself directly in the Widow’s line of sight.

“No, hold your fire, Natasha” Steve yelled, his hands trying to stop the blood from leaving Sam’s right leg. Sam still had the gun in hand but made no move to use it.

“Collateral damage” This time he aimed for the head only to have Steve move to cover Sam.

“Bucky, if you’re going to kill someone, it should be me” He stood still blocking Sam from view. “I let you fall” It was barely a whisper but the Asset’s enhanced hearing could still pick it up.  The Asset could still make the shot, it would pierce right through Steve’s kidney, but he would heal fast, low blood loss. He remembered killing people like that before. Shooting through someone wasn’t a problem.

The Widow must have realized what he was about to do once he adjusted his aim and he went down with three bullets.

 

_Back of left knee. Mobility compromised. Right shoulder. Right arm disabled. Cracked ribs. Left lung punctured. Death rate: Medium. Recovery Rate: Medium. Capture rate: High._

 

The Asset forced himself up. Steve moved towards him but hesitated. Sam had managed to stop the bleeding on his leg.  A bullet ricocheted of his left shoulder. His left shoulder had been reconstructed with the same metal as the arm. Nothing was getting through that, but he was losing a lot of blood and having difficulty due to a collapsed lung.

This time when he fell, he stayed down. His sight unable to make anything more than a blur moving around him. The gun was taken from his hand but he could no longer understand what was being said.

“You always let other people finish your fights for you” The blood dripping from his mouth and nose making it hard for him to recognize his own voice.

 

_Mission Report: Failure. Capture rate: High. Capture… Unacceptable._

 

The Asset felt for the false tooth, a relic from the early days where had orders to kill himself if he couldn’t escape _._ In this aspect, HYDRA had been kinder that the Army.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The End!
> 
> (I'm a horrible person)
> 
> The title comes from the song: Replica by Sonata Arctica. It fits Bucky perfectly if you ask me.


End file.
